January 2010
130 posts
Morbid Musings
So this is probably strange, but I’ve been thinking a lot about it lately. Over the summer one of my closest friends asked me how old I saw myself living until. It’s funny, but without really any thought I felt like right around 35 was about as far as I would make it. When they asked why I actually had to sit down and think about it to try to explain it to them. My answer was...
“It seemed like a dream
A beautiful scene
That echoed forever
And made us not...”
– MCS
“Little More Time” by Zox
Zox will...
Sometimes I wonder what I did to make God hate me so much.
Things I am Not Proud Of
I am tired of bullshit to be quite frank. There are many things I have done that I am not proud of and many of them I have blocked out of my mind for years. I have recently realized I need to address these issues if I am ever going to be able to get over them so here is a list of my biggest demons. If like most of my close friends you decide I’m too fucked up to be associated with then that is...
“I think you are confusing superheroes.”
– Sophie (reverse out of context)
“Maybe you were right after all…
Maybe I’m just bad news…...”
– “Her Words Destroyed My Planet” by MCS
@!#?@! by Motion City Soundtrack. This song makes...
I posted something about an hour ago and then deleted it. I am not ready for that step. Maybe someday I will be strong enough to share. I have more ideas this evening, but none are actually worthy to be fully written out so I guess I am done. G’night all.
I have recently begun telling people who are important to me how much they mean to me. I must say it is the most rewarding experience ever. There is such a reluctance to do things like this it seems and I myself have been very nervous each time I do it. I always worry what if the other person does not feel as strongly as I do. Will I just come across as weird? Will they not want to talk to me...
“If you believe in me I might just want to spend some time with you again
I’m...”
– “Stand Too Close” by Motion City Soundtrack
“Worker Bee” by Motion City...
“There’s a voice there’s a voice there’s a voice in my head
It’s rather soothing...”
– “Delirium” by Motion City Soundtrack
“In such a dead world, Amelie prefers to dream until she’s old enough to...”
– Narrator in Amelie
“Sans toi, les émotions d’aujourd’hui ne seraient que la peau morte...”
– Hipolito from “Amelie”
“You are a human being, not a human was or a human will be.”
– Karen Salmansohn
My close friend bought me a book called “How To Be Happy, Dammit”. I really just wanted to give her a hug.
“Oh, It Is Love” by Hellogoodbye. I...
“Starting to use red markers on my work
My teacher say they know I’m much...”
– “He Say, She Say” by Lupe Fiasco
Man in photo: She is in love.
Nino Quincampoix: I don't even know her!
Man in photo: Oh, you know her.
Nino Quincampoix: Since when?
Man in photo: Since always.
Man in photo: In your dreams.
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The...”
– Nelson Mandela (via thingssheloves) (via desertedplayground)
“…But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I say that...”
– Valerie, V for Vendetta (via wonwherefound)
“And so he kick, push
Over his shoulders he swore he’d never look...”
– Kick Push Pt. II
“As suicidal feelings would rise, switch over to transitions, helped her conquer...”
– “Kick, Push Pt. II” by Lupe Fiasco
“It’s my life, my life - everything I do I do for you
I do it all for you...”
– “Pressure” by Lupe Fiasco
“Ghost Story” by Sting. Performed by...
Forrest Foraging
I can’t really explain why, but for reason the experience I’ve really wanted to have lately has been running through the woods. When I was little, maybe like 6 or 7, I went camping with a few of my friends. I got spooked at one point and just took off through the woods not on any path or anything. I hat cuts and scratches all over and for some reason I really remember one on my left...
I just got an e-mail confirming I can do my senior internship at Perishable Theatre. I am souped. Mondays just got so much better.
“Flowing water doesn’t go stale.”
– Zen Proverb
“If you have a reason, you don’t need to shout.”
– Zen Proverb
Dear Stomach,
I know I was a bit of a tool to you a few years back, but isn’t it time to forgive and forget? You of course are correct, I should not have treated you so poorly, yet I don’t see why you think it’s ok to choose a week every couple of months to not let me digest anything. How is that beneficial to you anyways? I am really tired of this happening. More than...
For a while now he couldn’t help but feel jaded His care for others seemed useless, his desire to live had faded He felt all of his relationships were sure to be ill-fated But then he met her, and in her embrace his fears abated
“Hurt Me Soul” by Lupe Fiasco.
This...
Words cannot accurately express how I’ve been feeling the past couple days. I’m strangely ok with that.
“We’re on the same page, but different books
The same song, but different...”
– Sway Dasafo
“White. A blank page of canvas. His favorite. So many possibilities.”
– Sunday In The Park With George
“There are only two worthwhile things to leave behind when you depart this world...”
– Marie from “Sunday In The Park With George”
Ironic Detachment
arseniccake:
Well, that’s the only way I can describe my life anymore, or rather how I feel towards it. Its funny, the way it doesn’t feel like I’m living it anymore. If I just keep pretending it’s some quirky indie movie, and I am the offbeat teen girl who needs something as simple as a boy, then its easier, and everything becomes a joke. I can almost hear the laugh tracks as someone says...
Dot: Yes, George, run to your work. Hide behind your painting. I have come to tell you I am leaving because I thought you might care to know. Foolish of me, because you care about nothing.
Georges Seurat: I care about many things.
Dot: Things, not people.
Georges Seurat: People too. I cannot divide my feelings up as neatly as you, and I am not hiding behind my canvas, I am living in it!
Dot: What you care for is yourself.
Georges Seurat: I care for this painting. You will be in this painting.
Dot: I am something you can use.
Georges Seurat: I had thought you understood...
Dot: It's because I understand that I left, that I am leaving.
Georges Seurat: Well, there's nothing I can say, is there?
Dot: Yes, George, there is! You could tell me not to go. Say it to me. Tell me not to go. Tell me that you're hurt, tell me you're relieved... tell me that you're bored, anything, but don't assume I know. Tell me what you feel.
Georges Seurat: What I feel? You know exactly how I feel. Why do you insist you must hear the words when you know I cannot give you words? Not the ones you need...